Fun Facts About April

Picture
  • I buy nearly all my clothes on e-Bay.
  • I can't parallel park.
  • Beechers Cheese paid to use one of my tweets in their advertising. They offered to pay me in money or cheese. Guess which I took?
  • I have held a variety of odd jobs, including German translator, cleaning lady, and a brief stint as the girl who jumps out of a cake. 
  • In 1656, one of my ancestors was charged with "pig bewitchment."  Luckily, he was found not guilty.  
  • My maternal great-grandfather was in an arson gang.
  • My paternal great-grandfather gunned down my grandmother's boyfriend for kissing her. (A long-hidden family secret I uncovered a few years back and that will probably make its way into a book. It explains a lot about why my grandmother - pictured in graduation cap on the left - was such a crabby person.)
  • My third great-grandfather was murdered. Family rumor says his own stepsons were the killers. 
  • I hold a purple belt in kung fu, an orange belt in kajukenbo, and a blue belt in Brazilian jiujitsu. 
  • I speak German (slowly and with mistakes). And I know some sign language.
  • I'm pretty sure no one noticed me in high school.
  • I can make a cloverleaf shape with my tongue. It's supposed to be some rare genetic trait. When my kid showed me she could do it, I tried and tried until I could too.
  • I wrote an episode for the phone app Zombies, Run!
  • When Kettle Chips discontinued their Loaded Baked Potato flavor I bought every bag in the store.
  • I have more than 46 chromosomes. 
  • I have taken a course on close quarters fighting with SWAT team members.
  • When I was 23, a man broke into my apartment when I was in the shower. I managed to escape unharmed. 
  • I’ve never learned to ski. 
  • I went to the same high school as Lisa Rinna. 
  • My dad was a TV newsman and us kids often ended up as B-roll. 
  • Charlaine Harris (the author of the books that became the HBO show True Blood) and I used to be in a group called Almost Famous Authors.  
  • I have fired an M-5 machine gun on an FBI gun range. In fact, it was the first gun I ever shot. 
  • I still have a postcard Roald Dahl sent me in 1972. 
  • In third grade, I was the only girl cast as a reindeer in the school play. 
  • I found out I was pregnant in New York City. 
  • I was a life-drawing model in college. 
  • One of the scariest days of my life was February 1, 2008, when I quit my day job to write full time.